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members:membership [2013/04/11 17:06] (current)
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 +====== Membership with Benefits ======
 +
 +[[http://​032.la/​membership-info/​|Become a member!]]
 +
 +NSL offers the exciting opportunity to become a member for the low cost of $40 a month for a regular membership. If that seems like a lot to you, compare it to other forms of paid entertainment. ​
 +
 +  * for the price of one night at the bar, you can get membership to NSL for a whole month 
 +  * for less than the price of two dinners at Shabu (not Sabu), you can get membership to NSL for a whole month 
 +  * for less than the price of a DUI, you can get membership to NSL for a whole year 
 +  * for the price of a movie and drink at the theatre with an ugly girl/boy from OKcupid, you can get membership for a whole month
 +
 +To become a member, just ask for M, and give him your name, email, and $40 (cash or paypal). ​
 +Paypal is amazing for other things besides buying things from etsy, with a simple subscription you don't have to worry about remembering when to pay dues. [[http://​032.la/​membership-info/​|Click here to become a member!]]
 +
 +=====  Membership Benefits ​  =====
 +
 +  * Help promote NSL's electric, internet, and heating bills so we don't have to sit in the cold dark 
 +  * M will stop glaring at you to pay up 
 +  * You will get to look at all the beautiful keyholders at NSL 
 +  * Access to the wonderful equipment at NSL 
 +  * Less likely to be banned from #NSL 
 +  * Air smells better ​
 +  * Free cookies or snacks on special "​membership with benefits"​ days
 +  * Invite to the NSL camping trip, with a plus one
 +  * Invite to NSL new years party, with a plus two 
 +  * Your nick/name is included on the special ~celeberate our [[members:​start|members]]~ board
 +
 +=====  Non-membership Consequences ​ =====
 +  * M will glare at you directly and <​strike>​passive</​strike>​-aggressively bother you for $$$
 +  * You will be included on the SHAME OF NONPAYMENT list next to the elevator
 +  * bVector will find out where your parents live, call your mother, and tell her what a disappointment you have been
 +  * Your nonpayment status will be recorded on your permanent record
  
members/membership.txt ยท Last modified: 2013/04/11 17:06 (external edit)