<p style="font-size: 70px;">http:<nowiki>//</nowiki>www.headinjurytheater.com/images/dpc%20avatar.jpg LASER SOME SHIT http:<nowiki>//</nowiki>www.headinjurytheater.com/images/dpc%20avatar.jpg</p>

  *  ASK FOR HELP BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS EXPENSIVE IF YOU FUCK IT UP.
  *  DON'T PUSH RESET. IF YOU PUSH RESET YOU MAY AS WELL BE PUSHING A BUTTON THAT DONATES MONEY TO NSL FOR THE EQUIPMENT YOU'RE ABOUT TO RUIN.

=====  Machine Setup  =====
  -  TURN THAT KNOB CLOCKWISE. TURN THE KEY CLOCKWISE. OR PICK IT LIKE A FUCKING MAN.
  -  OPEN THE DOOR SHIT AND PUT YOUR SHIT IN THERE.
  -  PUSH ESC. PUSH IT AGAIN. PUSH IT ONCE MORE.
  -  USE THE ARROWS TO MOVE THE LAZER AROUND. POSITION IT OVER YOUR THING.
  -  PUSH ESC. ONE MORE. AGAIN. YOU LOVE IT. PUSH IT AGAIN.
  -  PUSH Z TO ENTER Z MODE. FIND THE "NEW" STICK AND SET Z USING UP/DOWN.
  -  PUSH ESC. ONCE MORE, SLUT.
  -  USE THE ARROWS TO MOVE LAZER TO TOP RIGHT OF YOUR SHIT.

=====  Software Setup  =====
  -  OPEN THE SOFTWARE AND IMPORT YOUR SHITTY DESIGN OF A COCK OR WHATEVER.
  -  SET THE LAYERS USING THE COLOR PALETTE AND SET SPEED/POWER/CUT TYPE.
  -  PUSH "CALCULATE". IF YOU FUCKED UP IT WILL LET YOU KNOW. USE TOOLS MENU TO FIX LINE JOINT PROBLEMS.
  -  PUSH DOWNLOAD.
  -  PUSH DELETE ALL.
  -  PUSH DOWNLOAD CURRENT.
  -  PUSH TEST ON THE LAZER TO TEST. IT WILL GO AROUND YOUR SHIT TO SHOW THE AREA IT WILL LAZER. IF THIS IS WRONG FIX AND RECALC/DOWNLOAD.

=====  Are you sure you did the rest right?  =====

  -  YOU BETTER BE FUCKING SURE.
  -  TURN ON THE BLOWER AND CHILLER. THEY ARE LOUD.
  -  PUSH START.
  -  WATCH THE PEW PEW. USE MAGIC GOGGLES IF YOU ARE A WUSS AND CARE ABOUT YOUR EYESIGHT OR CANCER OR WHATEVER.
  -  IF YOU FUCKED UP (LIKELY), PUSH STOP OR PAUSE TO STOP THE PEW PEW. DO NOT PUSH RESET.
  -  POST ON YOUR FUCKING TWITTER OR WHATEVER GAY SHIT YOU ARE USING WHEN YOU ARE DONE SO YOUR FRIENDS KNOW HOW COOL YOU ARE.