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membership

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<blockquote>“Membership with Benefi<i>titties</i></blockquote> NSL offers the exciting opportunity to become a member for the low cost of $40 a month for a regular membership. If that seems like a lot to you, compare it to other forms of paid entertainment.

  • for the price of one night at the bar, you can get membership to NSL for a whole month
  • for less than the price of two dinners at Shabu (not Sabu), you can get membership to NSL for a whole month
  • for less than the price of a DUI, you can get membership to NSL for a whole year
  • for the price of a movie and drink at the theatre with an ugly girl/boy from OKcupid, you can get membership for a whole month

To become a member, just ask for M, and give him your name, email, and $40 (cash or paypal). Paypal is amazing for other things besides buying things from etsy, with a simple subscription you don't have to worry about remembering when to pay dues. Click|here for more info!

Membership Benefits

  • Help promote NSL's electric, internet, and heating bills so we don't have to sit in the cold dark
  • M will stop glaring at you to pay up
  • You will get to look at all the beautiful keyholders at NSL
  • Access to the wonderful equipment at NSL
  • Less likely to be banned from #NSL
  • Free subscription to NSL's monthly magazine, RapeNews.TV (Stan is the chief editor)
  • Air smells better
  • Free cookies or snacks on special “membership with benefits” day one a month*
  • Invite to the NSL camping trip, with a plus one
  • Invite to NSL new years party, with a plus two
  • Your nick/name is included on the special ~celeberate our members~ board
  • visit to the rape room

Non-membership Consequences

  • M will glare at you directly and passive-aggressively bother you for $$$
  • You will be included on the SHAME OF NONPAYMENT list next to the elevator
  • bVector will find out where your parents live, call your mother, and tell her what a disappointment you have been
  • Your nonpayment status will be recorded on your permanent record
  • visit to the rape room

*each person takes the legal liability for the content of the cookies, luper will in no way be responsible for the out-come or accidents involving the wrong batch of cookies being sent to NSL. gluten/vegan cookies provided at request

membership.1390795430.txt.gz · Last modified: 2014/01/26 20:03 by viduata